DeborahBurkeHenderson.com

SEPTEMBER 2026 – INNER FRIEND                                                                   

“Have you noticed that, at times, your inner voice can be exhausting or even annoying?” This was the intro to a meditation on the Calm app by Jay Shetty, and it got my attention. He went on to speak about self-talk, noting that often folks find their inner voice to be more of an inner critic. He’s still got my attention.

Shetty shared research that proves much of our self-talk can serve us. It’s actually helpful in planning and problem solving. It also supports our short-term memory and times when we mentally rehearse scenarios. At other times, though, our inner voice focuses on worry, doubt, distraction, or fear. Remember … words are powerful, thoughts are powerful.

Negative self-talk is not useful. It does not encourage motivation nor self-confidence, just the reverse. The good news: we often have more control over our self-talk than we might think. We have the opportunity to revise our thinking whenever the inner critic turns on. We can learn to reframe self-deprecating thoughts and, in fact, begin to develop a healthy relationship with our inner voice, so that it becomes more of an inner friend.

Obviously, this doesn’t happen overnight, but little by little, with practice and employing the technique of reframing, we can learn to steer our thoughts in a more constructive direction. Begin by simply observing your individual thoughts without letting them pull you away. Look at each notion with clarity and objectivity. Then, ask yourself, “Will this thought help me have a good day today?” If the answer is no, reframing is in order.

You might even try tracking what your inner voice has to say. Each time it swings to the negative, turn that thought around to a positive. Be patient with this reframing process and know that it is worth the effort. This technique is part of a growth mindset and one that will serve you well.

As American author and psychologist William James says, “The greatest weapon against negativity is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

Shetty concludes his meditation this way, “With a little awareness and mindful direction, you can take your inner critic, and retask it as an inner friend.”

Trust that with enough repetition and practice reframing, you will create a more welcoming mindset. As you move through this process, remember to ground yourself to the present moment and always be kind to yourself, as you would be to a friend.

Blessings on your inner work,

Deborah

      ________________________

“Letting go doesn’t always equate to you losing or missing out.

You’re growing, you’re shedding, you’re becoming.”

—Alex Elle, author and wellness educator

My morning mantra:

"I arise this morning with a smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. 

I vow to live fully in each moment and to greet every being I meet with compassion."

        ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist monk, peace activist 

                                                                                    [1926 - 2022]