DeborahBurkeHenderson.com

OCTOBER 2025—SELF-COMPASSION

“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.”

You may have heard this saying. There is such truth in these words. Often though, we share compassion with others more freely than we offer compassion to ourselves. Do you find it difficult to nurture and care for yourself?

Self-love, self-compassion is not a selfish thing at all. It is essential to our well-being.

Self-love is a spark that kindles our light within and keeps that light burning brightly. Self-love serves as the foundation for our ability to shine that light outward in all directions, supporting, nurturing, and caring for others.

Psychologist and research scientist Dr. B Grace Bullock notes, “The light burning within you is a far more accurate reflection of who you are than the stories you’ve been telling yourself.”

What stories do you tell yourself? Do the narratives build you up or criticize? If the latter, hold yourself with tenderness and patiently try reframing your thoughts, time and again. Instead of thinking “Someone else could do this better,” think “I have learned something.” Instead of saying “What’s wrong with me?” say, “I’m human. I tried my best.” None of us are perfect. Look for the silver linings. Focus on the positives. Believe. Be grateful. Remind yourself that you matter, you are enough, you are worthy, you are loved. Treat yourself with dignity.

What are you holding onto that you are ready to let go of?

Besides getting exercise, eating healthily, ensuring proper sleep hygiene, and for me, engaging in spiritual practices, self-care also means taking time regularly to look within. Set a deliberate intention of seeing what you might let go of that no longer serves you. Do you suffer with fear? Worry? Guilt? Shame? Anger? Awareness is the critical first step in creating positive change, followed by the necessary actions to make and sustain that change. Developing a habit is all about repetition, reinforcement, and reward for all those little victories. Keep moving forward.

And give yourself grace.

As you do so, be mindful of your breath. Lengthening the inbreath offers the body energy, nourishment, and vitality. Lengthening the outbreath brings relaxation and a sense of settling in.  Find stillness in meditation or in the act of pausing throughout the day to appreciate moments of beauty around you. Engage in any creative endeavor. Spend time with loved ones. As you make a greater commitment to self-care, the well of compassion from which you draw upon is deepened.

Amelia Earhart said, “A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.”

So, focus first on being kind to yourself, fill your cup to overflowing, and remember to do everything from a place of love. Then, you will be in a better place to offer compassion outward.

Blessings to you and yours,

Deborah

     ________________________

“Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely, that

when others see us

they know exactly how it should be done.”

—Rudy Francisco, American poet

My morning mantra:

"I arise this morning with a smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. 

I vow to live fully in each moment and to greet every being I meet with compassion."

        ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist monk, peace activist 

                                                                                    [1926 - 2022]